How to Raise Extraordinarily Generous Kids

That time of the year is approaching! The time when the malls turn their A.C. down to 65 degrees and cashmere scarves adorn the window manikins, when your inbox is flooded with “The Top 10 Gift Ideas For ____” emails, and you dream of Starbuck’s Eggnog Latte. Truly the happiest time of the year!

Is it any coincidence that this is also the most generous time of the year? I think not. A 2008 study conducted by Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton and colleagues showed a positive relationship between giving and increased happiness. Their study found that spending even just $5 on someone else can make a significant difference in our happiness. This study brings light to the fact that not only is generosity an admirable character trait, but it is also vital to our well-being, making it a character quality well worth passing on to your children!

So how do we begin to cultivate a generous attitude within their hearts so that giving becomes more than just something we do at Christmas?

Be a living example of generosity

What happens when Christmas is over? Suddenly the malls go bare, spending declines, and people go back to their normal routines. The spirit of generosity vanishes, and all we are left with is a fir tree in the driveway and the familiar emptiness and melancholy after every last present has been opened. Perhaps if generosity didn’t end with the ringing in of the new year, we would find ourselves unaffected by the end of the holidays.

Many people completely miss the true meaning of generosity by thinking it is something only the “well-off” can afford to do. Generosity is not limited by the parameters of money. It is only our definition of generosity that leads us to believe that. Giving is about your heart, not your wallet. Money is not the only asset we have to give; we have our time, affection, love, service, ear to listen, or shoulder to lean on. I can’t help but think of Mother Theresa as the perfect example of this.

Being an example of true, year-long, heart-filled generosity is the most powerful way to begin to teach your children about giving, and you can do this regardless of your financial situation. Next time you write a check to that non-profit organization, make a pot of soup for that friend who’s been sick for a week, or lend your car to the single mom who’s been taking the bus, clue them in to what you’re doing and engage them in meaningful conversations about why you’re doing it! They’ll begin to realize that giving is a lifestyle, not a once a year spree.

Provide opportunities for them to give

Think back to the last time you sorted through your child’s toys or clothes for donations. Chances are good that you probably didn’t advertise the donation pile to your child. In fact, you probably waited to sort through the toys until after they were asleep, and sneaked them out into the garage in a well sealed, black bag like you were George Clooney in Ocean’s 11. There’s no shame here; we all do it!

What if we made a decision to stop hiding generosity from our kids, and instead show them that giving is something special to look forward to, not something to dread? Now I’m not at all suggesting that you fill a trash bag full of your child’s stuffed animals and make them wave goodbye as you drive them off to Goodwill! Let’s not scar them in the process of teaching them! Instead, how about starting with one item. Talk with them about how they don’t play with or wear this item anymore, and how someone else would really appreciate and use it! Even better, name a specific person who might like it and allow your child to give it to them!

I did this thing just the other day with Paislee. She had a doll that she rarely played with, that just so happened to be one of her little friend’s favorite. So I talked with Paislee about how she doesn’t play with her anymore, and asked her if she thought her friend would like having the doll at her house to play with. We also talked about how giving makes everyone involved feel so happy, and how generosity shows our “kind hearts”. When it came time to give the doll away, Paislee was so focused on how happy her friend was, that was all she could talk about! There was no sadness in giving her toy away, because she was starting to see that generosity brings joy! Even at this young age, she is realizing that “It is more blessed to give, than to receive.”

What about you? What are some things you have done or want to do with you child to teach them about generosity?

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